Immortal Men – Why Men Find It Difficult to Talk About Their Emotions & How To Help

By John Warrington, Counselling Minds

Men often struggle to talk about their emotions—not because they don’t feel them, but because they fear being seen as weak. In this blog, I explore why this happens, the cost of silence, and how safe, respectful spaces can help men find strength through openness.

Breaking the Silence Around Men’s Emotions

For more than 13 years, I’ve supported men of all ages—from teenagers who insist they’re “fine” while quietly falling apart, to older men who can say more with a single sigh than a thousand words. 

What connects them isn’t a lack of emotion—it’s the difficulty of expressing it.

And I know that struggle personally.

Silence Is Not Always Golden

I grew up in Crewe, Cheshire, in the 1970s and 80s—a town built on industry, resilience, and an unspoken rule that emotions were best kept to yourself. 

Crewe Works had been building locomotives for 150 years, and the emotional culture of the town was built much the same way: solid, silent, and not to be tampered with.

Of course this approach wasn’t just confined to the UK’s industrial heartlands but has been replicated in many areas and environments across the world.

When I joined the Royal Navy, my dad’s parting words were: “Keep your emotions to yourself.” He meant well—it was survival advice in that environment. So I did what generations before me had done: I carried on. When my dad passed away, I carried on some more and threw myself into work.

It took another ten years before I finally sought therapy and realised something powerful—I didn’t even have the words for what I was feeling. It wasn’t stubbornness; no one had ever taught me how to speak the language of emotion.

The Cost of Bottling It Up

What I’ve learned over the years is this: most men aren’t emotionally detached; they’re emotionally over-compressed.

They’ve been absorbing years of messages like “man up,” “you’re fine,” and “shake it off.” 

These mantras don’t build resilience—they build pressure. 

And when you keep pressure bottled up for long enough, it has to find a release somewhere.

The Danger of Staying Silent

For too many men, the fear of being judged as weak still runs deep. The idea that opening up somehow makes them “less of a man” is tragically outdated—but it’s powerful enough to stop countless conversations before they start.

The truth is, it takes far more courage to talk about what hurts than to bury it. 

Vulnerability isn’t a crack in your armour—it’s the mark of real strength and it is my vocation to help them understand that.

We live in a world that still celebrates the stoic, unflinching male, but that old model is hurting people. 

These modern-day warriors—fathers, sons, brothers, friends—are fighting silent battles every day. Some do it until they simply can’t anymore.

The harsh reality is that too many men, boys and teenagers, take their own lives because they feel they have no space to speak, no one who will truly listen without judgment. 

That’s why it’s imperative that men are given spaces where they can talk and be respected, where they can be heard as human beings, not measured against outdated ideas of toughness.

When a man opens up, he’s not showing weakness—he’s showing unimaginable strength. He’s choosing life, connection, and hope over silence.

Where Men Find Safe Outlets

Often, men access emotion through something familiar and “safe.” It might be through their dog, when the unconditional bond breaks their emotional barriers. 

Or through their football team, when a goal sparks tears they didn’t see coming. Or even through a film scene that captures something they can’t say out loud.

These aren’t random moments—they’re socially acceptable doorways into deeper feelings. 

But the truth is, men shouldn’t need a reason or disguise to express emotion.

Cultural Clues: The Immortal Man

We see this pattern reflected in popular culture, too. 

In the new Peaky Blinders film, The Immortal Man, the male characters show us exactly that—men unable to speak their pain. 

Many carry the unspoken trauma of World War I—PTSD before it even had a name. Their silence isn’t strength; it’s a coping mechanism.

And though that story is fiction, the emotional truth behind it is everywhere.

A Learned Silence

This silence doesn’t start in adulthood.

Children learn about emotions from the adults around them. When feelings are hidden, kids assume that’s what strong people do. 

Now, we’re seeing a generation of young people—boys and girls—who struggle to articulate the very real pressures of growing up, studying, and building a future in a world changed by AI, uncertainty, and unrealistic online ideals.

They might look confident on social media, but many are quietly crumbling in private.

Creating Safe Spaces for Men to Talk

That’s why, when I work with men and young people at Counselling Minds, I keep things simple.

No jargon. No big theories. 

Just two humans talking plainly about life, pressure, grief, hope, and everything in between. 

Humour helps, too—used well, it builds trust and makes emotional conversation feel possible, not awkward.

When men finally feel safe enough to talk—really talk—you can see it happen physically. 

Shoulders lower. Breathing softens. The emotional weight they’ve carried for years finally finds somewhere to rest. 

It’s not weakness that makes that possible. It’s relief.

You Can Learn the Language of Emotion

One of the greatest truths I’ve learned is this: it’s never too late to develop emotional language.

You’re not broken, and you’re not alone. 

You simply haven’t had the right tools yet.

If you (or someone you care about) want to explore your emotions in a relaxed, grounded, and occasionally humorous space, I’d love to hear from you. 

Together, we can turn silence into strength—and give your story the respect it deserves.

counsellingminds@gmail.com

About John Warrington

John Warrington served in the Royal Navy before moving into high-pressure business environments, where he experienced first hand how unspoken stress can take its toll. 

He engaged in therapy and decided that he wanted to re-train and has spent the past 13 years helping people improve their mental wellbeing through a down-to-earth, compassionate approach.

John doesn’t make emotional support complicated - he keeps it simple, using warmth and appropriate humour to put clients at ease. 

This grounded, human connection has proven transformative for the many men, women, teenagers, children, couples and families he’s had the privilege of supporting through Counselling Minds over the last 13 years.