This Valentine's Day, Break Up With Your Excuses.

By John Warrington, Counselling Minds

Valentine’s Day is a curious thing.

For some, it’s candlelight, handwritten cards, and that slightly panicked dash around the petrol station at 9:47pm because someone forgot the chocolates.

For others, it’s a day best handled with a duvet, a takeaway, and the firm belief that February 14th was invented by greeting card companies during a slow sales quarter.

And if we’re honest? Both camps are absolutely right.

Valentine’s Day is wonderful for people in happy, healthy relationships. It’s a chance to celebrate connection, appreciation, and love. 

Great!. Celebrate away. Book the restaurant. Buy the flowers. Write the message that makes your partner cry (in a good way).

But let’s also call it what it is: a very convenient retail bridge between Christmas and Easter.

A very good friend of mine is very thankful for Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day because they keep his business going after the post-Christmas, straightened times. 

There’s something impressive about how efficiently we’ve turned a medieval saint into a global economic strategy. 

Red roses, meal offers at supermarkets, heart-shaped everything. 

If Cupid carried a calculator, he’d be smiling all the way to the bank!

And here’s where it gets interesting.

Because while some couples are toasting prosecco, a whole lot of perfectly capable, interesting, emotionally intelligent people are quietly wondering:

“Should I be somewhere else by now?”“Am I behind?”“Should I just give that person another chance?”“Is being single a problem I need to fix?”

That’s the pressure part.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t just celebrate love — it highlights its absence. Or at least, what we think is its absence.

And this is where I want to gently, warmly (and slightly cheekily) suggest something radical:

This Valentine’s Day, break up with your excuses.

Not your standards.Not your independence.Not your happiness.

Your excuses.

The Excuse of “Maybe I Should Just Settle”

February can do strange things to people.

Suddenly, that person you were absolutely sure wasn’t right for you in November starts looking… adequate. 

Tolerable. “Probably fine.”

This is Valentine’s Tunnel Vision. It narrows your standards and whispers, “Don’t be difficult. Just pick someone.”

But settling isn’t romantic. It’s expensive — emotionally, mentally, and sometimes financially.

You don’t build a fulfilling relationship by lowering the bar. 

You build it by knowing who you are and what genuinely aligns with you.

Being single isn’t a failure state. It’s simply a relationship status. And if you’re happy, growing, and at peace, why would you trade that for something that feels smaller?

The Excuse of “I Need to Explain Myself”

If you’re single, you may find February comes with bonus commentary from well-meaning friends and family.

“Anyone special?”“You’re too picky.”“You won’t find someone sitting at home.”“You don’t want to leave it too late…”

Ah yes, the Annual Relationship Performance Review.

Let me offer you something liberating: you do not owe anyone a romantic progress report.

You don’t need to justify being single.

You don’t need to explain your standards.

You don’t need to provide a five-year plan with bullet points and timelines.

Stick to your guns.

If you’re single and content, that’s not a problem to solve. 

If you’re single and actively looking, that’s not desperation — that’s clarity. 

If you’re single and healing, growing, or rediscovering yourself, that’s wisdom.

The only person who needs to understand your choices is you.

The Excuse of “Something Must Be Wrong With Me”

Valentine’s Day has a sneaky way of turning comparison into self-criticism.

You scroll through smiling couples, surprise proposals, matching pyjamas, and suddenly your brain decides you’re the common denominator in your singleness.

Pause.

Social media is a highlight reel, not a full documentary. 

Every “perfect” couple has had awkward conversations, disagreements about where to eat, and debates about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher.

Being single does not mean you are lacking.

It does not mean you are behind.

It does not mean you are difficult.

Sometimes it simply means you refuse to compromise on what truly matters.

That’s not a flaw. That’s self-respect.

For Those Happily Coupled (Yes, You Too)

If you are in a loving relationship, wonderful. 

Celebrate it.

But here’s a thought: don’t let Valentine’s Day be the only day you show up intentionally.

Real connection isn’t built on one grand gesture in February. 

It’s built on consistency. On listening. On choosing each other when it’s inconvenient, not just when it’s Instagrammable.

And please — if you are in a relationship, don’t use Valentine’s Day as proof that you’ve “won” at life.

Relationships aren’t trophies. They’re partnerships.

Break Up With the Real Excuse

The real excuse most of us carry isn’t about being single or partnered.

It’s the excuse that says:

“I’ll start living properly when…”

When I meet someone.When I get engaged.When I’m married.When I’m chosen.

What if you stopped waiting?

What if you built a life so full, so aligned, so energising that any relationship you enter enhances it — rather than completes it?

That’s the shift.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t measure your worth. It simply marks a date in the diary.

Love is bigger than that. And your life certainly is.

Stick to Your Guns

If you’re happily single — own it.

If you’re healing — honour it.

If you’re waiting for the right person instead of the available person — respect that.

If you’re in a relationship — nurture it intentionally. 

And if someone questions your choices this February?

Smile. Pass the chocolates. Change the subject.

You are allowed to build your life at your own pace. You are allowed to have standards. 

You are allowed to want depth instead of convenience. 

You are allowed to remain single if that genuinely suits you.

This Valentine’s Day, don’t break up with your standards.

Break up with the pressure.Break up with the comparison.Break up with the need to explain yourself.Break up with the idea that your life is on hold.

Love — real love — starts with knowing who you are and sticking to it.

And that’s something worth celebrating all year round.

Thanks for reading. 

John Warrington, Counselling Minds